Appendix D:  Cash & Carry Mock Essay for Others


·         Start by having students read Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal.


·         Engage students in a discussion of Swift’s arguments.


·         Discuss satire and irony.


·         Give them the mock essay assignment.


·         Read through one of the student samples: “Vegetarians Can Have Their Chicken and Eat it Too” or “Respect Mah Authoritay! Why South Park Should be Canonized in High


·         Discuss form and citation format (appendix F).


·         Engage students in a brain storming session for absurd topic possibilities.  Posing absurd solutions to real educational problems is a terrific place to start.


·         Have them outline a few possible ideas with supporting points and possible imaginary sources based on brainstorm session.


·         Have them draft and introduction and 2 supporting paragraphs.


·         Peer review.


·         Revise and turn in for final copy.


·         Present – have students read essays or present sections from essays to the whole class.


·         Enjoy reading a stack of essays for once.


Appendix E: Mock Essay


Prompt: Compose a 750-1000 word analytical essay on an invented or made-up topic of your choice.

Discussion of the prompt: Invent a fictitious or imaginary topic or premise and write an essay about it incorporating the different forms of quotes discussed in class.  While your “facts” may be made up, you are still required to follow the form of an analytical essay—you are writing an essay, not a short story (see the attached example).  You are limited only by the restraints of your own imagination; however, you must make a claim about and support the topic you have chosen.  You cannot simply state, “In this essay I am going to discuss __________.”  See the example below.

Sample Thesis:

The makers of the popular M&M candies must reconsider their use of the green and red M&M’s since a portion of the population remains color blind and are being deprived of a satisfactory chocolate experience.

In supporting the above thesis, I could use the fact that sight affects one’s taste (which it actually does, by the way).  Next I could cite federal laws which prohibit discrimination against people who are handicapped and so forth.  In other words, I would use reason to support an otherwise absurd premise.  This paper does not require any “real” outside sources; however, you will be required to write a works cited page for your imaginary citations.



Introduction: (If you feel sassy, encourage them to try a double-paragraph intro or a double-paragraph conclusion to mix it up a bit)

Begin with an attention getter (quote, story, joke, statistic, etc.).

Summarize the issue of the essay.

Funnel toward a thesis statement—the last sentence of your introduction that states your position and presents an overview of your main points.


Provide support in the form of quotes from imaginary sources.  You must have at least one quote per main point / paragraph.  You must use each of the two types of quotes at least once.

Explain the importance of the quote in relation to the main point of the paragraph.

Explain how this main point supports the overriding thesis of the essay.


Summarize the thesis and how the main points have “proved” the thesis to be true.

End with an exigency: the “Jerry Springer Final Thought” of the essay.  Answer the “so what?” question  (i.e. tell the reader what s/he can learn from reading your essay).


Grading Criteria: 

A complete draft is due _______________.

The final draft is due _________________.

Attach all drafts behind your final copy.

Attach the grading rubric (on the back of this assignment sheet) on top of your final copy.  If you lose this assignment sheet, get another from the class web page: www.original-ink.net.

Format your paper according to MLA style (see syllabus, class handout, or web page).